"I Can't Smile Without You!!!!!!!!!!!"

hey hey all remember our theme song!?!?!?! :D

"Remembering The Good Times"!!!!!

(this first pic I had just gotten my braces off weeks earlier, and couldn't have been happier...I had nooo problem at all showing my smile off after those nasty things came off...)
As anyone might have guessed, these are me and my bestest friends ever here in Oklahoma....I keep telling everyone on here how much of a blast I had whenever I was younger with my friends, and my friends were the life of me, and I would scream and cry my head off whenever I couldn't be with them etc...etc....The first few pics up there are me and my friends all together at my friend Rachel's 16th birthday party...They surprised her by sending an Elvis impersanator there and we all had sooooooooooooo much fun then....The others are my friend Skye, Lori, and LeAnn...We are all still in touch to this day, but all have very different lives...And with me moving around like a herd of buffalo do every few weeks, it's a wonder why I stayed so moody in crappy Okinawa whenever I show pics like these around....Those were the best of times EVER...cause won't ever happen again....I turned 16 years old about 2 weeks later, and had a swim party at one of the hotels here cause I was so obsessed with having a pool party, but the month of April isn't pool weather...We had sooo much fun at the hotel and the indoor heated pool and hot tub they had there...The other 2 under those are whenever we all went to camp together...They got me when I just got done putting all kinds of make-up on, cause I wouldn't step outside without make-up on...now I don't care..but then I was trying to get into modeling and thought I actually was a model, so no one could talk me out of messing with my hair and I always had make-up with me...That's what that pouch thing is that I'm holding....The one under that is when I was still at camp, and got sick of everyone, cause all they wanted to do was sit around and play cards, or have guys chase them around and throw water at each other..That's me writing to my penpals that I wrote to then..Now everything is on here, and online, we talk everyday..I said I was obsessed with writing letters...Nope, they wouldn't leave me along about that either, and usually someone would come up and snatch my pen away and my paper and run around with it yelling outloud what I wrote and how bored I was there, or how stupid everyone else was acting....We always had a total blast at camp as well and I loved it...I never get to do that anymore either moving around so much and being with the military now...Going to Camp was my summer highlight and I loved it...I miss it all soooo muchhhhh now.....hmmm the last one is me and my friend Skye...We were always doing that and I miss that too now...We were like together every single weekend...Either I was over at her place, or she was over here with me....That is one of my brothers, and my cousin Jamie...We're all grown-up now, but it's fun to remember how much fun we had teasing each other and everything...I will try to find more, but this is me growing up through the years...I said I had a total blast with my friends and would cry my head off and slam stuff around when I couldn't hang out with them...I did that over in Okinawa the whole 4 years....It was insane, and no one would believe me over there...Wow how times have changed......(hey Rachel, I found the song we were talking about last night while rummaging through the cd's at wal-mart!!!! The duet DOES sound much better than just someone singing the solo version of this!!!!!!!!!! ooooohhhhhh LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!) (top picture!!!! from Left To Right.... on top of pyramid!!! SUZY, LEANN, bottom of pyramid!! RACHEL, SKYE, & LORI!!!

I'm Moving To ALASKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just found out yesterday and couldn't have been more excited...I could think of a couple other places that I wanted, but perhaps after the 4 whole years spent up in ALASKA with me most likely tripping over to RUSSIA and over to CANADA more than once since we are between them....Yessssss, finalllyyyyyyyy places to travel to again, and I will be around others who speak ENGLISH in case I get lost again,(which will most likely happen no doubt when it's me.....) but at least everything will be in ENGLISH.....So since it seems everyone keeps a GPS system on me and go into a panic if they don't know where I'm at at in the world, I will be at ELMENDORF, AFB there in ALASKA....I'm guessing it's somewhere outside of Anchorage......I'm sooo excitedddddd..I can't stop looking at my globe and carrying it around....I won't move until January 2012, but at least now I can start planning where I will go next....I will still considered to being overseas, cause I'll be sooo far up....So I'm thrilled thanks to everyone sticking with me through all this....I've got about 7more months left here...I"ll be hanging out today all day until well after nightfall with friends at a BBQ so I'm off....I'll talk with u all when we do happen to catch each other on here...enjoy this gorgeous weekend....xxxxxxxxxxxxx

OMG!!! I FOUND OUT WHERE I'M MOVING TO NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE GUESSING THIS TIME EITHER!!!! I WILL TELL EVERYONE IN 24 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***In Honour Of Jeff Conaway (Kinickie) from the Movie "GREASE...." R.I.P. :( LOVE UUUUUUUU :(

Boy, You Point That Finger At Me Again, I'm Gonna Break It Off And Stick It Where The Sun Don't Shine....Happy Memorial Weekend Everyone...

Long, Hard Day...So Glad To Be Home!!!

This is my friend's cat over in UK that I love to bits...She put hair ties on his ears and he just sat there like nothing had happened....I thought it was too funny, cause I do things like this to my cats, and some of them just leave it alone, but the others pull it off..I had a long annoying day with some dummy telling me I was crazy for taking a class the night before a 4 day weekend....Everyday is the same to me until I move again and start working again, but wow what a jerk...This guy not only said that to me, but pointed his finger at me and yelled that phrase at the same time and had people looking at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....I do not ever want to draw attention to myself ever...This guy looked like a short, pudgy leprechaun that most likely smelled like old band-aids that's why no one wanted to hang around him, and couldn't hold a conversation with someone unless he mentioned "beer" 5 times in it....I don't have a problem at all being on my own this year..with people like that around me, coming home I can hear the "Hallelujah" chorus playing in my head....

Still Suffering After Effects From Tornados....

This is what a tornado looks like....and underneath the first 2 pics are the kind of damage that a tornado can cause..This is what is all over the newschannels right now if anyone keeps hearing about tornados and keeps seeing all this rubble mess, but doesn't understand how it happened exactly...I live in the city so this doesn't happen here...We get the heavy wind, rain, lightning, thunder, and that's pretty much it, but it definately doesn't do this...These results are out in the small towns outside the city limits....It flattened people's entire houses, where they are just walking on broken lumber....This is one reason I don't want to leave the city and move to the country because of tornados...It may be more peaceful, but it would be absoultely nausiating to build and then have everything totally destroyed by a tornado and be left with nothing....I hope everyone else is safe where they are in the world...keep staying out of harm's way!!!! This is what it will do!!!!

It's Tornado Season....

We had a huge tornado like this one here today...It never comes to the city where I'm at....one reason why I refuse to leave the city limits...we just got heavy heavy wind and rain...it hit small towns where there is hardly anything for miles and everything is spread out. They are still looking for people out there, so it's causing a lottt of anxiety...This was like the typhoons back in Okinawa..we just got wind and rain, we had a bad one about the first year I was there, then it just was heavy rain with wind...I'm not big on storms of anykind, but it's best not to live in a teeny tiny small town where you are most likely to get hit by one of these things and then have your entire house flattened and everything else totally gone..Those are the images they keep showing...hope everyone else is fine where they are at....

The Angels In Heaven Are Definately Singing...I Got My Laptop Back...

Hell Finally Froze Over.....

Well...not in my world it didn't....Wishing #~@*&%^^%%%#@@ people that I went to loserass high school with would leave me the hell alone on facebook....NOT INTERESTED LOSERS....

World's Prettiest Places #2

The Palace of Versailles
France


The Palace of Versailles might have had humble beginnings, but times have changed. Now, this ain't no simple hunting lodge, but rather an opulent tribute to the former French monarchy. Highlights include the reflective Hall of Mirrors, where world leaders met to sign the 1919 treaty that ended World War I; the manicured French-style gardens, which prominently feature the iconic Bassin d'Apollon (fountain) and the verdant Orangerie garden; and the Petit Trianon, a smaller chateau gifted to the infamous Marie Antoinette by her husband, King Louis XVI. Early summer is idyllic in the Île-de-France region, so plan your sojourn for that season. That's also when you'll find a few music concerts and special events taking place in the Versailles gardens.


The Great Temple of Ramses II
Egypt


During his 67-year reign, Pharaoh Ramses II left many visual reminders of his greatness. Perhaps the best known are the four larger-than-life statues carved into a mountainside of southern Egypt. Many don't realize there's more to this site -- sometimes called Abu Simbel for the town you'll find it in -- than those seated statues seated on the facade. Pass through them and you'll find more detailed statues and intricate hieroglyphs depicting the Egyptian army's victory over ancient Libya, Syria and Nubia. Next door is the smaller Temple of Nefertari, dedicated to the Pharaoh's favorite wife. If you truly want to be wowed, you should swing by Abu Simbel around Feb. 20 or Oct. 20. Twice a year around those days the sun's rays shine directly into the larger temple to illuminate the artwork and statues within.

World's Prettiest Places

Taj Mahal
India
Molded out of red sandstone and white marble, and sparkling with the glint of semi-precious stones, this mausoleum of northeastern India needs no justification to appear on our list. Frommer's says, "It's not just the perfect symmetry, the ethereal luminescence, the wonderful proportions, or the sheer scale," that makes us revere the Taj Mahal. It's also "the exquisite detailing covering every inch of marble that justifies it as a wonder of the world." Its amorous background also feeds our admiration: It was commissioned by a 17th century Mughal emperor to honor the memory of his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal. Consider planning a trip for sometime between October and March to behold Taj's majestic domes, chambers and minarets; that way the weather will be somewhat cooler for walking around. If you have time, stay from the early morning until the late night, as "the radiance of the Taj under the moonlight is beyond any explanation," notes TajMahal.org.uk.




Croatia
Plitvice Lakes National Park

Our next selection is largely unknown to tourists from the United States, and perhaps that makes it even more precious. The limestone cavesPlitvice Lakes National Park of the Plitvice Lakes National Park make the water of its 16 lakes and a handful of waterfalls shimmer brilliant shades of turquoise, silver and green. And to get a better view the lakes' beauty, you'll find a web of wooden plank walkways scattered throughout. But note that there is no true best or worst season to stop by this site in central Croatia. Snow and ice transforms the area into a winter wonderland; in summer the surrounding trees further enhance the hues of the lake water. If at all possible, though, avoid the onslaught of local tourists in July and August.




The Great Barrier Reef
Australia


Australia's luscious islands, cays and coral reef system of the Great Barrier Reef are awesome in scope and visuals -- in fact, this reef covers more of the world than any other entry on our list (approximately 135,000 square miles; the only living thing visible from outer space). All who encounter even a small portion of this gorgeous giant are dazzled by its aquamarine waters and honeycomb beaches. Even more beauty awaits you below the water surface: a maze of more than 2,900 spectacular coral reefs and countless marine life. Come to this area just off the coast of Queensland between June and October, so you can avoid the worst of Australia's oppressive heat.

Thinking Of My Vacation!!!!!!!!!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow...Where I Wish I Was Right Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm About Halfway Done Now On My Bedroom... ;)

I can't believe I blew up so much that it pushed me over the edge to paint my entire bedroom from a pink color to a purple color...Kind of a deep purple..still pretty, but all that over a guy...A guy who totally pissed me off, and still wouldn't stop, and allowed others I didn't even know to get involved on harrassing me...NOOOOOOO ONNEEEEEE DOES THAT TO ME AND EXPECTS TO GET AWAY WITH IT!!!!!!! Once I start getting messy and frustrated, I call it quits then go and clean up...Since I'm the only one doing it, it's moving slow...After tomorrow...I will only have 2 more walls to conquer then I'll be done....So just while I'm here it's going to be purple..It's going to a boring beige color after a move again to be turned into a computer room, and no one wants to have a purple room. I didn't want pink anymore, and I don't do drab and boring nothing colors that don't stand out, so I'll enjoy it while I can I guess since I"ll never have a purple bedroom again... :( Trains are going by now here...that is a lot more comforting to me than having jets and planes fly right over my roof and mess up everything I'm doing...Yep, we all remember those times..I could never do anything ever...I will keep updating on my progress, but it's looking good so far!! I wanted to put gold trim around the edges, but after learning that from going to pink to purple, then soon after I leave to beige,....yukkkkk I decided to just leave it purple with white trim...Not too much longer and I'll be done with that...wonder what my next dramatic act will be...I've still got the summer in Boston to come up with plenty of stuff...

I Spent Last Evening With My Idols To Get Me Back To This Stupid Place We Call "Reality"...Watching Their Movies That Is...

I am exactly like they were...Whenever I get to return to my Austria...this time in Vienna along with Salzburg, I'm spending an entire day at Beethoven's gravesite, just like I spent the entire day at the Sydney Opera House. I didn't have anyone with me whining they wanted to go, or they were hot, tired, and hungry and had to go to the bathroom. It's best to go totally alone and not have to put up with any of that...Watching "Immortal Beloved" did wonders for me last evening with all the junk I had to put up with just over a pathetic weekend....I honestly couldn't help wishing that I had lived in that time period where I was around at least some intelligence instead of total dimwits like I am surrounded with today...

The Letters
July 6, in the morning
"My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be" -
Your faithful LUDWIG

Evening, Monday, July 6
"You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?"

Good morning, on July 7
"Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I nedd a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a clam consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours"

http://www.all-about-beethoven.com/immortalbeloved.html

Read more about Beethoven's Life
Beethoven: Childhood and Youth (1770-1792)
Beethoven: Rise to Fame (1792-1805)
Beethoven: Artistic Maturity (1805-1815)
Beethoven: Last Years (1815-1827)
The Heiligenstadt Testament
Chronological List of Events

The More I Go Out In Public...The More I Seem To Hate It...

Home never looked and felt so good as it does to me right now!!! All weekend long I have been having stupid ugly nothing people cause fights with me here everything from hitting at me, to calling me a "smartmouth." I'm proud of that title at least, cause I know I still have my bite to talk back, and others have no idea what to say to me then. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with these unattractive, MARRIED, nothing Mexican guys, who have like 5 kids, a wife, a new baby, and keep eyeing me. They practically push themselves right into me like they are trying to crawl inside my pants to be near me, then come and sit right next to me at the table with their 3 sperm-dwelling boys and baby. Okay, so here's my philosphy dummy....WHENVER I GO OUT IN PUBLIC, ANYWHERE, I DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT TO SIT NEXT TO OR HANG OUT WITH YOU OR YOUR DAMN BABY. I DO NOT WANT A BABY IN MY LIFE. DO NOT TRY TO TALK ME INTO HAVING A BABY IN MY LIFE, THERE ARE PLENTY OF ADOPTION AGENCIES OUT THERE IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, BUT I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU, YOUR ALREADY MADE BRAT-ASS KIDS, OR YOUR BABY, TODDLER, WHATEVER THEY HELL HOW OLD IT IS....This was at dinner, and I threw an absolute fit, and jumped up and moved. I get asked "WHY??? and I simply say, I didn't come with those people!!! I don't wanna hang out with them or sit next to them or their damn baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not go into public to hang out with other people and their baby!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stand it when people crowd the hell outta me!!!! So this stupid dad with nothing else better to do shoots me a look for turning his ass down, and I was glad I got my point across....I've been dealing with this crap since I was in middle school....I just yell my head off now if any of them do it now and totally push me over the edge like they would do back in nothing Okinawa...Just a few times of me and my dramatic acts, and that was it...they couldn't handle me anymore....About that time someone walks by me and calls me a "smart mouth.." not that I care, that's my first name most of the time...I never am short on words ever ever ever ever....I wore out my pink laptop cause I talk so much....My brother in law probably has the thing all strung out now, and I expect about July that will be ready....I was ready to throw it in the street and watch the cars run over it...So I am so glad to come back to where it's quiet and I don't have to deal with stupid people or stupid married guys with like 5 kids eyeing me and tryig to hit up on me,right in front of everyone....They never talk to me ever ever, they just annoy the hell outta me, and I can't stand it....I definately don't keep quiet anymore, I yell out I don't care where I'm at, or talk as loud as I possibly can, where I'm sure to embarrass whoever it is completely half to death..They have nooo idea who they are messing with until they cross paths with me...Ummm yeah, when I go through a situation like that, that is that pathetic, it only makes me wanna do something so outrageous that I shock everyone around me...Starting tomorrow, I'm painting my whole entire bedroom from a pink colour to a VICTORIAN PURPLE. It will only take me about a week, but I still wanna do it....I'm still sooo just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgghhhhhhh right now not even sure the word to use for what I feel and how mad I still am over such unbelievably stupid people I have to put up with, I have to do something to release it...I don't have my piano or electronic keyboard to pound out a song, otherwise, I'd go into something heavily dramatic by Beethoven or Mozart...That usually would help, so getting into a big project changing color to something is the next best thing that I can think of.....I am finally beginning to see the absolute BEAUTY of being on my own and away from total IDIOTS....

Trying My Hardest Right Now To Forget The Rude People I Ran Into At Stupid Wal-Mart.... >:(

I Couldn't Get On Here At All Yesterday!!!!

Hey guess what everyone...I saw a man fully dressed as a woman yesterday whenever I had to go to stupid Wal-Mart...skirt, frilly white tank top, black elevated strappy shoes, eyeshadow, bright red lipstick, more eye makeup, and a stocking hat to hide the hair part...but he had stubble on his face, and the voice spoke for itself when he said something then I took off...lol only thought I would see things like that in pictures on here not in real life....I was furious yesterday whenever I couldn't get on here...I had no idea what was wrong with this thing...I was going to try to post every single day this year, and now my dates will be messed up cause they can't get their %*&^ together on here...Just remember to be an individual and the hell with what everyone else thinks in the world.... :D >

Missing My Laptop...

I talk so much, that I wore my computer out....I had no idea that could even be done... :P (?????)

What I Feel Like Doing To My Laptop....

I Have NO IDEA what the )((*(*%^%$^%$^ is wrong with my (*T^%**(^%$%$#%^ laptop so I'm turning the thing over to my brother in law who can build an entire computer from the ground up...I may not have this again until next week sometime.....I will talk with u all soon when I can.....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooooooooooxxxxxxxxx
ABOUT 6 hours later!!! Now that I can finally talk reasonably I have other computers that I will have access to while my laptop is undergoing surgery...I don't expect to have it back until about maybe next month since one of the fans needs to be totally replaced....It wouldn't stop making this horrific noise and it was driving me insane...It annoyed me so bad I was about to trash it cause I have no patience with it when it does junk like that to me...Now that I got it away from me finally and wont' be seeing it until it's normal again, things are better and I'm better...I will still be on here every single day and will have it back in time before my trip....

Missing My Italia Right About Now!!!!

I'm missing Italy soooo much right now, but at least I got solid straight A's on both my end of semester projects....I'd would much rather be here though to celebrate!!!!!! ↓ I lived up at the very very very very top on the high right side almost on the border of Austria whenever I lived over in Italy!!! Gorgeous!!! Can't wait to go back to my dream country!!! ☺ ♥

Where Would We Be Without Wal-Mart & Wal-Mart People!?!?!?!

ooopppsss....my bad...that one pic several down from the top with my Hello Kitty suitcase and the other suitcase for my cat, doesn't have anything to do with the Wal-mart ones on here.. I have nooo idea how I did that, and I know that I will mess everything up if I try to go back and delete it...That was when we were just about to leave Okinawa, Japan and were living out of temporary lodging....Stupid place I couldn't stand it, but that is how I"m gonna have to keep living until we get an actual house from all this ridiculous moving around for so many years...Another far off dream of mine.... Sooo glad to be outta that place...don't miss it at alll!!!!!!!!!!!!Well, at least everyone gets to see my super cute phone I ordered while I was over there...Love it!!! ☺