Happy Holidays everyone I hope everyone got through the chaotic Christmas season. I remembered to stay out of the stores, they only make me mad, and I really don't like myself that way!!! It's too easy being able to get on the internet and shop anywhere all over the world, no matter where I'm stuck at... Some off the wall small town, where the electricity is always being blown out, some dumpy island where no matter which direction that you seem to turn, a landfill is staring you right back in the face in the far off distance...So okay, I've been here long enough, I can say to what I want to about this place, esp. to the nuts coming here, and trying to lecture me about things...like I am even going to listen to that in the first place, or like I ever listen to anyone who I don't consider my friend...It got me to thinking, and maybe this very last year that I'm over here in Japan, that I should be handin' out my own pages of rules to anyone gettin' in my face about stuff...I've been running it through my mind over and over, and I couldn't think of a better solution...So I will start with numero uno and continue from there until I can't think of anymore...

Rules for all the New People coming over here to this Island in 2010

1. Don't lecture me about how great this place is. This is a freaking island people, it can't be that great, so give me a break. I've been all over the world, and this place is not that spectacular. You may like it at first, but it wears thin after so long, and you will become bored with it yourself. The only way to freedom from here is a plane ticket, and a signed guarantee to never return to such a humdrum monotonous island this really is. Yes, there really are other countries out there, and a whole other world as well, besides this place called Japan. It wouldn't even be here if it weren't for some volcano...

2. Don't stand there in front of me talking to me endlessly about your kids. ugghhhh nothing spells out disaster quicker for me than someone going on and on and on and on about their kids. This is definitely NOT my area, never will be, not interested, end of story. Call me spoiled, but I like my life this way. You stand there in front of me telling me stories about how your kids did this and that, and I'm thinking "just how long are they going to keep talking?!?!?!" and "when is this story going to end??!!?!?" "Are these kids even famous?!?!?" What exactly am I supposed to say to something like that anyways?? It's weird for me, and I'm at a loss for words. I know people in this lifestyle don't have lives, but I do, and I strongly believe in getting a life and keeping it. I figured that out years ago, I'm sorry if you never did and need outside entertainment for everything.

3. Don't lecture me telling me I have "too much stuff" and need to get rid of some of it. Uhh okay just WAIT A MINUTE...maybe it's because you don't have enough, and are secretly desperately begging to borrow some of mine, but are too downright conceited to say that to my face. I come from a very big city, with everything, and that automatically makes me very high maintenance. I have to have my "stuff" and I don't want to hear anyone who is just getting here run their mouth about my habits good or bad. If you can't handle me fine, go back to your camp fire and tent with holes in the sides. There are other people out there who can handle me, and don't have one bit of a problem with it. so there.

4. Don't bore me to death telling me how you "can't believe that I'm not into sports like everyone else is these days." Really??? Seriously?? They are??!?!? Okay big deal, so what, who cares, not me. They can be into anything they wanna be into as long as they don't go and bother me with it. None of you obviously have ever met anyone like me before. Well, now you have, and I'm not the one at the top of the bleachers holding up signs yelling out stuff to a team. Let's see, the only time I ever did that was back when I was in school, and I went and stayed turned around talking the whole time to my friends. You won't see me out there in a muddy field trying to play volleyball, or organize a sports day like they have here ever so often. Talk to me about a trip or a newfound shopping mall, and then you've got my attention.

5. Don't sit there going on to me how everything is just so good here when it comes to the food area. Uhhh... are some of you people like blind or something?@?!? Have you seen this stuff?? Doesn't it make you wanna just vomit?!?!? Well, I guess not since you are sitting there eating it. I don't know what even more than half of this junk is, but I have noooo interest in trying it. If I have no idea what it is, or it's totally weird and squishy looking, forget it. I don't care if it's good, just get it away from me, and I'll call for a pizza. You know, normal stuff. With me being the most particular one on this planet, don't even try to talk me into liking anything here. I've been here too long, and heard it all, so I'm not impressed. It's not good to me, I'm not interested, and just because I don't try it, my life isn't going to change any. You have nothing to worry about, cause whatever I do doesn't affect you or anyone else in the world, so stop ya whinin'...

6. Don't tell me over and over that I should learn to speak Japanese. For what reason exactly?? I don't plan on living here permantely, my heritage doesn't even come close to this place at all, I have no interest in this language, I don't plan on working for a Japanese software company, not many back in the states speak Japanese unless you go to a Japanese community, or to the Universities where they teach it. Once I leave here, I don't plan on coming back!!! There is just tooo much out there to see!!! So! Why would I need to work the whole day at a job, then go straight to a class that I would absolutely HATE, but still be paying for to sit through, just so I could go around bragging to everyone, that, " oh hey, I took Japanese while I lived over in Japan!!" Just to maybe get a few "ooooooohhhsss" and "ahhhhsss." I can't think of one single thing I would use this language for at all. I can pick up words, and that is fine for me, but I don't plan on being the next Japanese translator on a plane.

7. Don't try and make me feel bad by telling me that I"m missing out on everything and the experiences because I'm not "joining in." Again ummmm so what!!! Does it really look like to you like I would be one to join in with a bunch of military guys in a scavenger hunt, or paintball, or football games, or all the other ridiculous events they have going on here happening 24 hours a day never ending. Well, then you obviously haven't met me then. Let me introduce you all to a little thing called "stubborness." I've found plenty to do the entire time I"ve been here, and I don't need other people trying to entertain me, or get in my way when I have plenty of my own activities lined up. Honestly, I don't care what goes on around me, it doesn't hurt my feelings any that I"m missing it either. If I really wanted to do any of that junk, I would go stand in line like everybody else waiting to do it. Another big time waster you know, but I guess that doesn't really matter if you are even bored with yourself you will go and do anything that's offered.

8. Keep your dogs away from me.It's really not that hard you know. Let's see!!! I remember havin' this little problem whenever I first got here. I made the statement without saying a word that I didn't want dogs around me, and get snapped at, not to mention embarrassed me half to death in front of everyone. Okay, so you wanna fit in with everyone else who comes here and wants to compete with each other in a non-verbal way on who has the biggest dog. Fine, okay, but I don't. I"m not interested, but just because I'm not, don't get some stuck up attitude towards me about it.