oh yeah, and I'm done with this thing by the way!!! finally free from here...Facebook wins. sorry).

I've got 6 months left to live. 

ALL SPEECH CLASSES MUST DIE..;

I.H.A.T.E.F.L.I.P.'N.S.P.E.E.C.H.C.L.A.S.S.....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OR NO ONE ON THIS PLANET EARTH CAN DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE MY MIND...HAD ONE OF THE BIGGEST FIGHTS THAT I'VE HAD ALL YEAR...oh wait, that never stops cause I'm always around military...SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEASE OR TRADE LIVES WITH ME...MINE IS TOO DEPRESSING!!

I've got the most funniest, and most incredible friends on planet earth...this has to be the best conversation of the year so far...this was several days ago, and I still can't stop laughing!!!



"I don't know who is more stupid and pathetic, the people selling coupons, or the ones buying them...."


"Not really, the people that are selling, are pretty damn smart!!!"


" I guess people will do anything for a dollar then..."

"I've got some coupons if you want to buy them..."


I guess not everyone will find that funny, but the sarcasm is just too much...not sure how coupons became the topic anyways...wow the things that can go around these days to talk about, and in my case, make fun of, or others help do it for me....
 

SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER *((*^&;(*%$%$#$%&^%%#@@$%#$$%%%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST GOT IN A YELLING MATCH WITH ME HERE ON BASE, AND I SERIOUSLY WANT TO JUST PUT MY FIST THROUGH LIKE SEVERAL BUILDINGS I AM SO BEYOND FUMING FURIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM WORKING TOWARDS A MASTERS DEGREE THEN A 2ND AND MAYBE EVEN A 3RD MASTERS SO I WON'T HAVE TO BE AROUND AND LIVE AROUND SUCH HORRID PEOPLE EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER EVER AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN@@@!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I happen to mention that I'm furious by the way!!!??????????????????????????????

I start my University next month...only like 6 more WEEKS to go....yes I got accepted to the University of Alaska Anchorage here, completely out of state and far enough away from Japan to make anyone cry it's so far...I'm dying to start my courses, I'm dying to get away from people here on base, I'm dying to meet NORMAL people for once in my life that don't just focus and talk about one lifestyle (this one) and this lifestyle only and nothing else or no one else exists in life but them and their meaningless everyday existence. 

We were on our way home, and saw 2 bear cubs on the side of the road. The first one that I saw looked like a big black dog, until I finally realized it was a bear. Then I saw the 2nd bear cub, and they were walking along the side of the street....they started running across when cars started stopping to see them, and I got out and tried to go and look better, and get some pics, but they had already crossed the street, and disappeared into the woods...I walked up a little more to see where they ran off to, but it was still a short distance, so just turned back and got back in the car, and we continued on our way home...

we barely turned the corner, and I saw the mother bear walking...A black bear about up to your shoulders, just walking where backyards are....I jumped out again to stand back and take a picture.... I have never lived in Alaska, I have never been around wildlife ever,  I have never been around snow up to your neckline, and ice as thick as the first layer of your mattress...I have never lived around where dog sledding and ice hockey are so big, that you can't go out in town without hearing a short conversation about it, or seeing advertisements about them...I've never lived around mountains, I've never been able to plant flowers, and actually have my own yard, front and back, and decorate the outside how I want, I've never lived around where we actually have a winter, that can actually be called "WINTER..." Cold has never felt so good, and it seems to drive certain people nuts when I say that I actually like it here when they hate it...wow no wonder we don't get along since we're complete opposites...this isn't the first time though....

 I have on the other hand, lived in desert temperatures 120, suffered from extreme heat exhaustion that was enough to send me to the emergency room every month....seen more cattle than I would have liked to, been around farm life too much sometimes, lived in a big city, that was Business and Industrial oriented more than people/Tourist friendly...been around bugs, rodents, snakes, red dirt, broken limbs, tornadoes, flooding, earthquakes, fires, dogs and cats, birds, fish, flat land, more hot weather, and just too much to mention...

I get out again to snap a pic of the mother bear...standing far enough back to just observe and see a bear for the first time ever without like 50 other people around making noises and won't be quiet....I just about had my phone on camera mode, until some other car comes up, rolls down the window, and starts yelling junk at me, and I yell back to not to be telling me what to do, did they really think that I was listening to them, to mind their own &;*#($*;$&;@$$@# business, and I have no idea what else flew out of my mouth...we are always fighting over something here, not a day goes by really without that happening...that's why I refuse to work with them ever again...I won't allow people to talk to me the way they do like I'm homeless or something...whoever this was, their voice was enough to make glass melt, and liquefy it all over again, that is how annoying it was to have to listen to...I don't listen to anyone besides God and the law...anyone else doesn't matter, and I am not going to stand there and be lectured by some stranger who doesn't even know who I am, and they just yell at me cause they don't have anything else better to do here but follow other people around and yell insults at them cause they are bored with them their own life...

I'm still boiling mad, and no matter what I say to anyone face to face, I am always the one who is wrong, so I'm done with such ignorant people. This was a first for me even after living here for an entire year....I finally got to see BLACK BEARS UP CLOSE here on the way home...first it was 2 cubs, about to your waist...walking along the side of the road...they just looked like a big black dog, until I realized they were actual bears...I've never seen bears that close before ever....I've never lived here in Alaska and around all this nature...I've never lived in cold climates...I've never lived around mountains, I've never lived around snow up to your neckline, and ice as thick as the first layer of your mattress....I've lived in extremely hot climates in desert





temperatures reaching 120 degrees, been around and seen cattle more than I've wanted to, been around red dirt, broken limbs, tornadoes, flooding, it was such heavy flooding, that coffins washed up from the ground, and were seen floating down the street, noisy cars, honking horns, stop lights, stop signs, (small towns don't have either) gas stations the size of a house, the newer ones are like this, bugs, rodents, snakes, landfills, weeds, flat boring land, busy streets, lived on a busy street, big city that was nothing but an Industrial/Business oriented place, NOT A TOURIST DESTINATION, not of any interest to anyone if they are coming over to America for the very first time in their life with a VISA, and still have to learn how to adapt to this place. I love it here, and am still learning about it here...that is why I'm working so hard so that I can stay here cause I don't want to go back like ever from where I came from....



So of course if I see any animal that I've never seen up-close before, it's extremely exciting to me,  I haven't been around them, I want to take as many pics as I can, I want to be able to talk about it to others that I can actually talk to, and just stand back and watch...not do anything to them cause I've never seen them...the cubs were very fast, and ran across the street when cars started stopping on the sides. I jumped out to try and get a pic, but they ran so fast across the street and then disappeared in the woods, I didn't get anything...From far away, they looked like 2 little black specs in front of you...I walked a little ways up since it was a running track that I was on, and someone else was out the same as me standing there watching where they went....I didn't want to deal with them, and it was still a short distance to walk where they ran into the woods, so I just turned around and got back in the car, and started back on the way home...barely got around the corner, and I saw the mother bear...a medium sized black one, about up to your shoulders walking towards the road...

I jumped out again cause I have never seen bears this close so it was a complete rush....I've only been around cats and enormous human sized dogs that about suffocated me or had a certain sniffing problem and didn't know how to leave anyone alone...and there was a bear right in the neighborhood just walking calmly...I got out to take a picture staying far back, and almost got it on picture mode, until some other car comes up, and we get in a yelling match right there...they were saying this and that how I shouldn't be doing that, and whatever, like I was listening and I was yelling don't be F*(&*(&^*&&Y*(^&*^^*&YI*&(&**)*#$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??@!?# telling me what to do, and who the H**@#((#( did they think they were lecturing me, and to mind their own #*$&*%&#*@# business...it was a voice enough to make glass break and liquefy it that's how annoying it was to listen to...I couldn't take whoever this was, and got back in the car again, and we went home finally, and I am so furious that they ruined such a beautiful experience that won't be repeated, and that probably won't ever happen again, cause we don't get very many nice days here with the sun being out....

There is plenty of wildlife out at Denali Park, but seeing bears right in neighborhoods right around the corner where you live is something that you just can't describe to anyone...I just stand back and take pics of them, watch them a little bit, and then they turn around and run back in the woods...by the time we were done yelling at each other, I turned to get my pic of the mother bear, and she was running back into the woods...no one has ANY idea how much I want to scream right now, and how loud, that it would make the entire country of Japan deaf....

this is what my newest sweatshirts have on the front...still sarcastic as I can be!!! Everything has been tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sllllllloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww that it has been driving me absolute nuts....What a junk summer we have been having...it's freezing again...we have only 1 or 2 days of sunshine, and then it's cold and rainy again...It killed my flowers that I planted outside...12 packages of flower seeds that I spent half the day planting them so carefully, and nothing...oh, but I seemed to have dropped a few seeds while I was doing that, and there are like 3 small flowers growing in the cracks along the front porch...My cruise was amazing...I had never been on one, so I was in awe about everything...loved every little detail of the inside passage here in Alaska...my most favourite has to be the town of Ketchikan...another whaling town, and just very beautiful and quaint...I've been feeling completely NAUSIATED because my in-laws are coming in just a few weeks here, and are staying nearly a month...I think that it's time for me to beg to be put back on VALIUM so that I can keep my sanity since I don't and never will do the family thing like ever....sorry but can't help how I feel about that since I've always been the rebel and loud mouth who's not afraid to throw my opinion out there when everyone else just wants to sit silent...

so I'm trying to plan it now for me to stay just as busy as I can so I don't have to deal with that as much as everyone thinks that I will just sit and tolerate complete hell...just not for me!!! I have no idea how else to explain it!!! I'll finally get to enjoy the train ride here in Alaska, that goes all across the state, and I"ll finally get to visit Denali Park which I"ve heard sooo much about....and finally my university courses will start again next month...(hoping those will save me from the torture...gagging sound...) and I graduate next year...or should graduate.....if not, then in the spring 2015...can't wait can't wait can't wait...cause I made an absolute vow to myself in stone, concrete, asphalt, writing, emails, and verbally when I was going off like I always do about something, that I would NEVER EVER work with such brats again that just graduated high school 2 or 3 years before, or that very same year...

I have never in my entire life had so much trouble in a work environment...these little 18-19 year olds think that they could go around and tell ME what to do, whenever they still lived with their parents, and were always trying every single possible moment to get a boyfriend....that or which one of their "friends" got arrested and all the details on that...I would put my water bottle down someplace...one of them would grab it and throw it back at me cause they didn't like where I put it...WTF was that about...we would always blow up at each other, and would stay on opposite sides of the room until they would finally leave since I was in authority above them...they would tell me where to sit, when to move, and it just burned me up, I grabbed everything that I had, got up and got as far away as I could from them, and then threw it all done and it made a huge thump like when you throw down about 2-3 suitcases....I think it mostly turned into silent fighting than verbally, but wow, I totally just SNAPPED, and when I was back home for all of 2011, I grabbed everything up again what I needed, went down to the branch of OSU down the street from me, enrolled that same day to continue my courses, and started the next week...

I had just completely had it, and that has never happened before, and it really takes a lot to push me that far, but I just can't take working with such uncontrollable brats like that....my kids acted way better and way more mature than they did...so I am never, ever going through that again, and definitely not working on base again, but this next time in a private school where they wear uniforms and actually have manners, and people won't talk to me that way cause I won't put up with it since I even surprised myself when I snapped like I did....I can finally finish my University courses and graduate up here in Alaska...not very many others can say that!!! also, where people actually have MANNERS....I still can't believe how mean people can be to each other in this day and age.....not just to other people, but also to animals...I can't watch those animal shows that they have on tv...the ones where they rescue all these abused animals and the conditions people leave them in....it's just sickening....the kids that I am involved with here, I am trying hardest to make each of them individual gifts.....

I hear all my art supplies calling me, since I could barely get in my art room door before without stepping on the huge pile of just "stuff" (NOT JUNK!!!)....so now after about a year and 3-4 months...(I lost count long ago so I don't even care anymore since it's taking me so long....) I can finally actually open my door all the way and see well some of my floor...now it's only 1 box that is left, and 3 more piles to suffer through...I really can't stand doing things like that...organizing, closet cleaning whatever...it's much easier to get it and shove it all in a closet and shut the door...problem solved...that is why all my closets are like that, but I always know where every single last item is, and can go straight to it....I'm completely stuffed with every imaginable thing that you can think of, but just can't stand to waste time going through stuff and organizing after moving around sooo much....still can't stand the moving part, can't get enough of traveling, but the annoying, rude people never seem to end....I'm craving London next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've pretty much had it with the attitudes over here and everything is turned around on me...not any stupid fights here since I've stayed away from the places that I've worked before, and don't need that ridiculous high school drama....I've heard it from others though, and sat through the whining and complaining and just couldn't help thinking how thankful I was that it wasn't me...I missed fireworks this year, we didn't have much of anything here...I think stuff off in other towns, but it was so chilly and rainy that day I wasn't much in the mood to put up with other people in bad weather....and now it's cold again...for the whole week it's going to do nothing but rain...we have only one more month of summer left, and then rain and cold temperatures for the next 9 months...

I'm really hurting for Seattle again....I haven't gotten to wear shorts in like 3 years, and pretty stappy shoes are just out of the question here...the things that I had to give up and miss too much now all to come here and live in Alaska, but it is all worth it to me....after being tortured severely in Japan (oh dear God help us all...) I am never going to be in 120 degree temps again....everyone else in the country is going through a severe heatwave, and I'm freezing and have my heat on, and am wearing sweatshirts everyday...and it's nearly the middle of July...only in Alaska, but I don't want to give it up...now I think I have to force myself to finally go to bed since it's 3am...also, I have no idea what I'm talking about this late/early in the morning..just whatever comes to mind that I want to rant on about here, but can't say anything publicly since everyone gets so offended anymore even if you cross the street wrong...5 months until Christmas and then this year is done with...I'm counting the days until I graduate.....sometimes I'm just too excited that I can't even sleep... 

Two Words: Shane Chase ( from my WestLife)

yes , Shane from WestLife DID contact me and I about passed out...I think if if I am in contact with the lead singer of a rock band, then I will have a much better chance of meeting them....YES I don't care what it takes or even if it halfway kills me, others can see that I go through whatever it takes all for a rock band...so totally worth it though...