Wheewww last day of doing this everyday for a solid month...I only did this because this is my birth month, and I never seem to stop with always highly decorating it anyway that I can.....I'm sooo sorry I have gotten behind on here so much, I will get caught up, eventually though...it's just really really hard to do anything at all whenever I get home on the weeknights 7-8pm and all I have time to do, or that I feel like doing is getting a shower (of course), and crashing into bed then... Not very exciting but I feel so exhausted I could cry sometimes.....I'll go back and fill it all in with something, I can find something to talk about, as much as I go on about stuff just on here for one day, when nothing here really happens to begin with really....or I don't think it does much.....same old stuff here really....I had another one of my birthdays come and go here...this was the year of me being away from my family and missing it with us all going out together and all that other....it seemed like kind of a normal day at first really kind of boring cause it's just us over here, no one else really, and I don't get into it over here with anyone...everyone is very cliquish, and stays with only who they know, or who knew the ones before them, and it's all "very small town attitude" I think...not my thing, I care nothing about this at all.....it's only been a couple days, and it's already turning into a blur kind of.....I got all kinds of birthday wishes from so many I can't even remember, and got sent flowers and balloons there at my work, and then everyone at my work gave me small cake with more balloons....sooo nice but soo much to try and carry!!!! It was good time but went very quickly I think....We went to nice Italian restaurant that night, cause I didn't want anything else here since I have serious problems with everything mostly.....that was really nice place and I got another cake and they sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Italian....=) brought back memories cause that's what they did to me whenever we were living there and went to places there.....=) hmm that was about it I think, cause I was so exhausted from the whole day, I didn't care to do anything else...I tried my best to get ahold of my family over and over...I finally managed to do this on a very shaky cell phone, and they tell me they are on the river walk in San Antonio going on a ferry and there is festival going on.....then why I am here??!!!!??????!?!?!?!?! I should be doing stuff like that, not stuck here with a bunch of people who will barely even talk to me....they told me they were going to rotating restaurant high up that was round that night to remember my birthday and everything like that.....too unfair I thought, I couldl hear the tour guide on the ferry boat and everything, and wanted to be pulled through the phone so badly.....then I would have 2 celebrations cause they were a day behind us there.....I missed our Arts Festival back home in downtown area, it was this month also....I went to those every year growing up and loved them....here nothing....all Japanese things, all Japanese interests, everything Japanese related....anyone who is Japanese wouldn't understand this because they think the world of this place like this is the only place in the world....it is all they talk about and can relate to...they don't know any other place it seems.....that had me burning for a few hours and the last few days here, nothing I could do of course, but sounded sooooo much fun....I would love to do all that too, but with friends of course and someone who knew their way around cause I'm definately no help on that part ever.....yah I wouldn't want to sit and talk on a cell phone either if I was on a ferry boat either.....so in a few days maybe it's too maddening for me right now.....hmmm can't wait for time to keep passing like it has been lately here, I"m not sorry, and won't be to get on the airplane and leave where ever it is to next...hopefully someplace decent and that's not another small nothing town....I don't get on with these people here at all....they go and get a paintball gun, and shoot around at each other in parking lots here when they can....I don't go near any of that...I would completely lose it over and over again if they hit me with one of those things and it got all over me and in my hair...i would go to the gym across the street and get a shower if that happened....it won't cause I'm never around it and just avoid it.... hmmm people here I will never get ever....they tend to mostly stay to themselves I think, and just talk and hang around who they already know or are some how aquainted with.....I can't stand going anywhere here ever cause I am always gawked and stared at, and then people start kind of poking at each other making gestures towards me....(?????) what is up with that really???? They never say anything to me ever, but just do that.....it's pretty annoying not to mention embarrassing like crazy...to me at least I can't stand that kind of attention being directed towards me ever.... I always tend to try and hide behind my hair and have a book or something else in front of me that I pretend to be interested in so I won't have to put up with people's constant stares at me, even though I can still feel them....so I get this, others get jealous or whatever, and get mad at me for some stupid reason, and I"m not even the one who is doing anything....trying to disappear from this side of the earth mostly, but of course that doesn't happen in reality.....people give me these nasty jealous never ending glares, and I have no idea what their problem is....usually when someone does that, whether I know them or not, and I usually don't, I automatically think and feel that that instantly completely hate me....pretty dumb I think, since I thought only kids were supposed to think and feel this way. I had no idea that would still follow me around into my adult years....nothing I can do, nothing I care to worry about, but it goes on, and I know not just here....hmm my birthday was only 2 days ago, and my balloons are already going down here, that sure didnt' last very long....it was fun while it did though....only one more day then the weekend....I simply cannot waaaittttt...I"m getting dead tired now, so I'm going to take off for now....I hope everyone is doing great and we can have a chat soon sometime on here....don't want to bother anyone if you all are busy with your own things!!!! just drop me a line whenever you can!!! we all know how it works!!!! okay hope you all get through the last day of the week ok!! I'll put pics up here soon of what I got, probably one by one, because it exhausted me just thinking of moving everything into one big pile, then having to put everything back....=p I'll work it out though don't worry!!!! alright talk with u soon!!! have a good/day night where ever in the world u all may be!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo miss u all!!!