so I really can't help it, but I somehow find myself hating people right now besides my friends of course....I've noooo idea why I'm still so irritated, I'm just not used to being around a roomful of stupid individuals, practially attacking me asking me how I'm doing and such, when I don't wanna talk, don't feel like talking, and just wanna pout and find the easiest way to get away from whatever the situation is...guess I'm just not an "everybody" kind of person...I'm guessing about a week until I finally cool off..only a few more weeks until I'm around "normal" people who I can talk about "normal" things with and it's just not a one sided conversation about what I'm living around...facing everyday...those I chat with know exactly what I'm referring to, and having to hear that all the time is just plain boring, and people who just sit and talk about themselves all the time put me to sleep in a second....so never again on the public embarrassment for me...I seriously have no idea what people's problem is doing that to others...mostly me of course...my best solution is sarcasim of course, and doing an about face and heading clear the other way...wow this wasn't a problem at all when I was growing up...what too much tv and ignorant cartoons and sitcoms can do to people over time...

    Now that I can see again on this again, maybe I can work again finally on this...It's really hard to believe that it's already April, and I"ve hardly done a single thing on here...Life goes on, and it's very sad to say that the ugly colors follow along as well...my sight is still trying to adjust...So let's see, January, nothing, finished dreaded nutrition class,  (and I never want to hear another thing about nutrition classes ever ever again) too many died... February, still nothing heavy snow storms, sorry attitudes, March, winter hit all at once, snowing on and off, still not enough snow though, went out bare-footed and in tank tops and shorts in the snow storms cause it just felt so darn good after being in 120+ degree heat my whole life in different places but all scaulding hot hot hot climates...I climbed on top of a snow heap that the snow plows up here piled up from all the snow that had collected, and laid down in it and covered myself with solid snow where all you could see was my head alone...never felt so good, so freezing cold, and finally not sweating...hmm what else, my university everything, tried to go intertubing a few days ago, but it was soooo dry, you would stop in the middle of the hill and had to push yourself down....We went only 2 times then called it quits...now it's a 6 month wait until the heavy snow comes again...so I'll be waiting for the sun to go away again...Let's see,  Passover & Easter Holiday weekend...my most favourite holiday of the entire year besides Hanukkah and Christmas...and wouldn't you know it, some sorry soul had to come along and ruin it for me of course...I really really reallllllyyyyy miss my synogugue and my Lifechurch back home...going in person...I wish that I could bring them here, or they would extend to up here...I can at least get them online but still not the same...so I have to settle for what I get forced at me here with who I'm surrounded by every minute of my life now...they ruined my Easter, I felt like I had gone back in time about 50-60 years, it felt more like a funeral than an actual happy celebration...yes I will spare the details cause somehow it's always my fault on whatever happens...yes...I love the place (Alaska) just not the people I'm stuck with...native Alaskans rock, everyone else...forget it...small gathering after Easter services, too many people crowded all together, and I have no idea what is the deal with people I don't even know coming up behind me, but as I was getting VERY HOT WATER for hot chocolate, someone comes up behind me and plows into me full force, knocks me forward, and knocks the breath outta me...and after that I was done...done with everyone there, done with everything, done done done, just done...that is why I go out in Anchorage to find my activities, I just can't take these people I have to live around...I'm still feeling that and it's been almost a full 24 hours...yes I have an extreme low tolerance for people and their constant b.s. after being in Japan for 4 years...the nightmares have finally stopped after 6 years, but the irritation and hostily attitude and smart mouth of mine are here to stay it looks like...I'm thinking a few weeks on my Alaskan Cruise all over Alaska, and up to Canada, for a few weeks, and then on the train again all over Alaska in another month will cheer me up in no time since I will get to travel again, and not just be stuck in one place...which drives me out of my mind if anyone couldn't tell...yes that is what an island will do to you...I don't even live on one anymore, and I still can't sit still...then my university starts up again, and I graduate in another year...this first part of the year just takes forever to get over with...now let the fun begin cause this slow stuff just isn't cutting it...

this was one of my runway songs when I was in modeling...beautiful song and gorgeous lyrics...yes and I'm changing the layout of this thing tomorrow cause I'm about to go blind...I had no idea that pink could look so disgusting and just down right ugly when slapped together like this...I would so like to know who actually thinks that is attractive...maybe if you are into abstract art perhaps?? I will pick back up on this when I get my university things up here in Alaska sorted out and things aren't so upside down crazy changing universities from 2 different places...dying for my Art classes to start again, sometimes I can hardly sleep at night I can't wait...I finally graduate next year class of 2014 and then will keep going on for the next 4-6 years cause I am NEVER working with such dead beats like I did over in Japan always causing so much drama and trouble (mostly with me of course) and then somehow everything is my fault...I'm getting so far ahead of them and so high up that they won't be able to see me...I plan to get at least 3 maybe 4 degrees including 2 masters cause I have just completely HAD IT with people who won't give up with acting just plain stupid...yes I've totally snapped, and everyone around me says I've changed so much, and I'm completely different, but that is what living on a rotten island for 4 years of your life will do to someone...and the very reason why I took off to Australia for a solid month to get away from that place...then I came back, and everyone hated me for going there...I really can't help wondering what it would be like to be around normal people for once with decent attitudes and who don't go around acting like they are going to prison in the next half hour and it is entirely your fault...not sure where that comes from, but the ones out in Anchorage are just fine, and are actually nice, and yes they talk to you and don't act like you are going to kill them if you talk to them first...No more language barriers finally...such an incredible feeling...no one else has any idea what I'm talking about unless they have been to other countries and have run into that...try getting completely lost in a town where no one speaks English, and all the signs, directions, maps, streets, businesses, etc. are all in a language that will make you go cross-eyed...that has happened to me about 4-5 times and I never want to go through that again ever...so few more months then nothing but studies for me again and flying through them so I can finally graduate up here in Alaska and leave everyone else with soured attitudes in the dirt...looks like a lot of people are going to be eating a lot of dust while they stand there with their mouths open while I'm graduating...Yes I've completely snapped, but making a memory of it...so thrilled to pieces that it's up here in Alaska...

I've put toooo much work into this thing to just drop it all of a sudden, so I'll just hold my breath and continue it I suppose....(yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn)

:O too bored going back to facebook now...

I'm really bored outta my mind with this thing...but I will still keep it going...
 

 not sure why this isn't working again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are hardly into the new year and I am already fighting with this thing again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! highly irritated right now...I guess I wouldn't be if I would stay offline for half a second since I'm on here all the time now even waking up in my sleep to respond...I'm not sure why this keeps doing this to me!!!!!!!!

A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE PAINTINGS!!

(not that anyone else cares really, but oh well... :p )