My Birthday!!!

story of my life living around people who bore me to death and live to argue a make my life miserable...soooo glad to get out in town where people are normal....
breaking outta here and taking off to Seattle, Washington next week...these people here are driving me absolutuly outta my mind...but somehow it's all my fault...well that's why i always go and take
off  to travel to another big city always seems to solve everything...just can't wait..i just hope that my moodiness will leave me for at least a week...I am thinking it will go in that direction once I get far far away from certain people...yes they have a problem with me here, (as usual, and same as it was with every other place I've lived...) and I have a problem with them having a problem with me....so counting down the days until gorgeous Seattle...nice birthday idea though...bye bye boring souls!!!!

UAA ACCEPTED!!!

I got 2 letters from University Of Alaska/Anchorage finally letting me know that they accepted me...after 2 past colleges, I can finally continue up here in Alaska....so now I can finally graduate end of next year before continuing on....If anyone hasn't been though it, starting completely over on a career field is a complete pain, and beyond annoying...but sorry, travel and tourism wasn't cutting it for me, and after 9/11...I just said "forget it" after the panic attacks kinda sorta went away from all that, and got away from it altogether....so everything that I had before was nothing but travel and every country in the world...nothing to do with education, but since I've been flying through without any problems, I don't mind it at all...I just completely SNAPPED after being around such unbelievably beyond ignorant people back in Japan...I made a vow to myself set in stone, that no matter what it took, and even if it took me the rest of the time living overseas, that I was NEVER going to work with people who acted that way ever again...let's see!!! what did they jump down my  throat just because I didn't have the same exact opinion as them!!!

1. I hated sushi..still do....always will..I got lectured about that about how "good" it was...still have no idea wth that was about...they couldn't understand no matter how much I told everyone that I really and truly and honestly didn't like anything...They throw meat in with everything, wouldn't even look at that, and they couldn't understand that, and I had no idea how anyone could ruin vegetables, when I say I want them completely and totally plain, and how they can trash a $40.00 lobster mixing mayonnaise in it, and somehow I ended up with 2 of those nasty things, and couldn't touch either one of them...The smell alone was enough to kill me...I'm guessing it was another misunderstanding againnnnnn....so never again will I go through that, even if others enjoy that sort of thing, they can also put up with the guy at the end of the table yelling around arguing about the price of mustard going up...such sad sad souls...I'm thinking Valium for the entire country perhaps...(yes I still am the inventor of sarcasm as the defense mechanism as usual, and when I really have no idea what else to say...and that"s what puts me at the top of all my classes..I guess it pays to always have some snippy off the wall answer...those who haven't heard one, obviously haven't met or come across me yet...

2. I hated being there...I got told to like it anyways, and to just make the best out of any place that I was at...yah, I secretly bitch slapped that one a trillion thousand million times +++++ in my head and that was about when I took off to Australia for a month, and left everyone else there wondering what to do with themselves on an island out in the middle of nowhere...

3.Nothing was in English...yes I know I was in Japan, ok, so what... the response that I got????? "Suzy, you should go and LEARN JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I think the glare that I gave them fried their brain in half cause they never spoke to me again...and the same went for me...not that I cared of course...

4. Nothing happening like ever besides protests, yelling from vans from loud speakers, arguing, yelling at me when I didn't understand something..like I was really going to understand them any better with them yelling at me in Japanese...I threw out all kinds of phrases in 3-4 different phrases, in German, French, & Italian, all mixed together, so I still came out on top, I don't care what they were saying to or about me...

5. I don't do heat and 1000 degree temperatures...So every new month that rolled around, I found myself in the emergency room being treated for heat exhaustion...I have never lived through such heat...It takes 5 generations  to get used to heat that is in Japan...I had no idea it was so hot over there, but still I was lectured and told that there are beaches, and you can go to the beach any time, and you never have any bad weather...shows what they know...

6. Earthquakes...I went through 4-5 over there, and I had never been through an earthquake in my entire life...2 happened in the middle of the night, our bed just started shaking like crazy and I had no idea what was going on, another time I was just walking across the room, and everything started shaking, and things fell off of my walls...then I just felt slight shaking when I was sitting still....also typhoons like crazy and tsunamis that never end...doesn't sound so much like a beach paradise to me....

7. Oh and how could I forget? MUSIC...what I have on before my feet even hit the floor out of bed in the mornings, and I keep radios on all throughout the house on stations that I can actually stand...We got only ONE radio station there that was in English...the rest were all in Japanese, the street performers on the corner where the shopping areas were, the concerts that were going on during the weekends, were all in Japanese...I was always the loudmouth in the crowd yelling out to play something in English, play something country, can't understand you all, play something that is actually enjoyable...It was so crowded, and shoulder to shoulder, no one had any idea where that came from, or who was saying it...me of course, but I wasn't gonna get up in front of all them and admit that..I'd much rather be the anonymous screamer than let anyone else know that it was me saying all that...funny how I had some other Americans laughing though since they were about the only ones who could understand me...wow how I'm loving that "I Heart Radio" feature that came out not too far back....

8. It seemed like everyone there was nothing but an attitude basher or a trouble maker,... I guess that explains why I still get so moody and won't give up the sarcasm no matter what...It seems that the only ones that I could actually stand were my students, and some of them felt the exact same way, since I am still in touch with a few of them...so good to know that I wasn't the only one who was going outta my mind being stuck in one place...

9. No matter what I liked or what I was interested in, somehow it was always "wrong..." someone always had something negative to say, just to hear themselves talk, and to try and get everyone else to laugh with them...Another reason, why I made a pact with heaven that I will never work with people like that again....

10. Sorry, but that is NOT a beautiful island...There are like 10 landfills, and every single one of them are full...beaches have endless trash thrown all over floating in the water, and jagged rocks aren't inviting along with habu snakes and all other kinds of creatures that I have never heard of...My cats caught one of the lizards that they found, and knew that I'm scared of everything, and killed the thing, and I found it one night in my bed when I pulled the blankets back...I had no idea how long I had been sleeping with that nasty thing in my bed...dried up of course, but I couldn't decide if I was more grossed out, or that it was dead funny and trying to stop halfway choking from laughing so hard for my cats trying to protect me like that...all those beaches do not have sand...they have jagged, broken up pieces of coral that will slice right through your foot if you are going barefoot like I am every minute of the day except when out in public...I seriously can't believe that I had someone else argue with me about that either...not every beach in the entire world has sand...fine a great percentage of them do...great...but I've been to the French Riveria in Nice, France, and that beach is nothing but small black stones....very small of course, but just goes to show you how ignorant some people can be just to try and think that they are right in front of everyone else...

I really have no idea how I got off on all that...just an excuse to talk again I guess...not quite losing my voice again, but I can kinda sorta feel it going....so going to the Anchorage mall this weekend to grab more than a few more things of Alaska...I never wanna leave here, I don't care if it stays cold with snow 6-8 months out of the year...I finally have my life back...no small towns, no weird living styles, no more yelling matches, and not so much of me being so sulky and moody every second that I am awake...now that I can finally think straight, I won't have to secretly slap as many people in my head, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop...it never ends when you come in contact with me...good night/day everyone...all my bingo team mates, you all are the greatest ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! so congrats to me....I made it into the University of Alaska!! first time ever going to an out of state school...

My Current Mood....

I finally finished putting up my letters....that is VERY exhausting and even made me scream a few times it was driving me crazy...those foam letters underneath are from the kids art department in my art store I go to here...so if something is from the kids section of anything then it's going to be made for kids...just 2 little peel off stickers on the back...so I got the priveledge of digging holes in the back of each letter with very sharp and very stubborn nails that slipped and stabbed me in the finger.. so of course I was bleeding all over cause I can't do anything with a hammer and nails to save my life...I got them too close to where the end wouldn't fit, then messed up and got the nail where it wasn't even with the holes that I dug out the back...some kept falling down or falling off completely...too far apart, too low, too high...so then after like 2 hours I finally got it...so only 15 more letters to go cause I want to hang up one one my screen names... since I use this solely as my art room and nothing else, then decorating it up couldn't be more than a blast...I can finally see my floor after an entire year...I had nothing but unfinished art projects all over the floor I was walking on it and stepping on it all when I would go in there...I would start something, get bored with it, then start something else I saw or wanted to try...so now all that is in 2-3 trash bags and I made a vow to myself that I won't start or work on anything else but that stuff until it is all finished and sent off, cause none of that stuff is for me....it's all for my friends or nieces...I'm enjoying it all now cause I won't even get to look at it when I start the university here...and I just want it out of my house.. it's all art stuff, so nothing else anyone would care about...I know it's spring everywhere else, but we still have snow and the air is cold, but nothing else...my gorgeous snow will all be melted by my birthday end of this month, but I'm thrilled that I get to enjoy it this long...then just 3 months and snow will come again...best life ever living in such freezing cold weather that feels sensational to me....and I'm only a few hours away from the North Pole... I found out if you go there for a visit, you have to wear an oxygen tank since it's so high up and there is very little air...I still want to go sometime that I am here, after being forced to live in climates that were hotter than hell..I'm not so sure if a camera would work up there, but that still doesn't scare me off...I've just totally snapped after growing up so strict, being told "no" all the time, and never getting to do anything on my weekends hardly except synagogue and regular church and helping with the stupid yard work...those were my weekends, and then it was school again... not much of a weekend for a kid...so my relationship with rules is fabulous because we no longer have a relationship...going against everyone else and being a total rebel is so much more fun than being such a goody two shoes all the time...I hate people anyways so I'm not loosing any sleep worrying about all the drama...with over 7 billion people in the world, no need to freak out over just a few of them...the best part of it is you will never see them again...just can't top that feeling...kind of like the excitement you feel around Christmas only this one lasts every second...wouldn't give it up for anything...as long as it's not illegal, throw all the rules out the window instead of following everyone else in the crowd...I always have, and that is why I found Hyde park over in Sydney by going off on my own instead of with the 20 other people who hated me anyways....when I find m creek again here in Alaska over the bridge you have to walk over, I'm jumping in... Can't wait!!!!!!!

 

 

so I really can't help it, but I somehow find myself hating people right now besides my friends of course....I've noooo idea why I'm still so irritated, I'm just not used to being around a roomful of stupid individuals, practially attacking me asking me how I'm doing and such, when I don't wanna talk, don't feel like talking, and just wanna pout and find the easiest way to get away from whatever the situation is...guess I'm just not an "everybody" kind of person...I'm guessing about a week until I finally cool off..only a few more weeks until I'm around "normal" people who I can talk about "normal" things with and it's just not a one sided conversation about what I'm living around...facing everyday...those I chat with know exactly what I'm referring to, and having to hear that all the time is just plain boring, and people who just sit and talk about themselves all the time put me to sleep in a second....so never again on the public embarrassment for me...I seriously have no idea what people's problem is doing that to others...mostly me of course...my best solution is sarcasim of course, and doing an about face and heading clear the other way...wow this wasn't a problem at all when I was growing up...what too much tv and ignorant cartoons and sitcoms can do to people over time...

    Now that I can see again on this again, maybe I can work again finally on this...It's really hard to believe that it's already April, and I"ve hardly done a single thing on here...Life goes on, and it's very sad to say that the ugly colors follow along as well...my sight is still trying to adjust...So let's see, January, nothing, finished dreaded nutrition class,  (and I never want to hear another thing about nutrition classes ever ever again) too many died... February, still nothing heavy snow storms, sorry attitudes, March, winter hit all at once, snowing on and off, still not enough snow though, went out bare-footed and in tank tops and shorts in the snow storms cause it just felt so darn good after being in 120+ degree heat my whole life in different places but all scaulding hot hot hot climates...I climbed on top of a snow heap that the snow plows up here piled up from all the snow that had collected, and laid down in it and covered myself with solid snow where all you could see was my head alone...never felt so good, so freezing cold, and finally not sweating...hmm what else, my university everything, tried to go intertubing a few days ago, but it was soooo dry, you would stop in the middle of the hill and had to push yourself down....We went only 2 times then called it quits...now it's a 6 month wait until the heavy snow comes again...so I'll be waiting for the sun to go away again...Let's see,  Passover & Easter Holiday weekend...my most favourite holiday of the entire year besides Hanukkah and Christmas...and wouldn't you know it, some sorry soul had to come along and ruin it for me of course...I really really reallllllyyyyy miss my synogugue and my Lifechurch back home...going in person...I wish that I could bring them here, or they would extend to up here...I can at least get them online but still not the same...so I have to settle for what I get forced at me here with who I'm surrounded by every minute of my life now...they ruined my Easter, I felt like I had gone back in time about 50-60 years, it felt more like a funeral than an actual happy celebration...yes I will spare the details cause somehow it's always my fault on whatever happens...yes...I love the place (Alaska) just not the people I'm stuck with...native Alaskans rock, everyone else...forget it...small gathering after Easter services, too many people crowded all together, and I have no idea what is the deal with people I don't even know coming up behind me, but as I was getting VERY HOT WATER for hot chocolate, someone comes up behind me and plows into me full force, knocks me forward, and knocks the breath outta me...and after that I was done...done with everyone there, done with everything, done done done, just done...that is why I go out in Anchorage to find my activities, I just can't take these people I have to live around...I'm still feeling that and it's been almost a full 24 hours...yes I have an extreme low tolerance for people and their constant b.s. after being in Japan for 4 years...the nightmares have finally stopped after 6 years, but the irritation and hostily attitude and smart mouth of mine are here to stay it looks like...I'm thinking a few weeks on my Alaskan Cruise all over Alaska, and up to Canada, for a few weeks, and then on the train again all over Alaska in another month will cheer me up in no time since I will get to travel again, and not just be stuck in one place...which drives me out of my mind if anyone couldn't tell...yes that is what an island will do to you...I don't even live on one anymore, and I still can't sit still...then my university starts up again, and I graduate in another year...this first part of the year just takes forever to get over with...now let the fun begin cause this slow stuff just isn't cutting it...